The Stupendousness of Him

My last blog explained the fact that Treven has Asperger's. I don't consider this a handicap or a disability by any means, however he does struggle and have some hardships definitely in some areas of life. I am not in denial, I just don't want people to only see the negative side of this diagnosis, and the more I think of things the more I will post the stupendous things I admire or witness about my son.

In November, we were visiting my mother in laws house. Treven asked me to come outside with him to walk and look around with him. Well, on the neighbor's property is a small building, no bigger then a small shed, that they rent out to someone. This someone has accumulated a bunch of cats who were all chilling on the front embankment. Treven told me to sit down and be very quite and just watch him. I had no idea what he was doing, nor did I notice the cats at this time.

He squatted down, was very still and quiet, kept his eyes looking far off into the distance away from the cats.  He had a favorite cat, and this was the way that he knew to get it to come to him. I took pictures of this, which I am going to attempt to share with everyone. I am his mom so I may be biased, but I thought it was a touching and beautiful moment to witness.  Please let me know what you think. My son loves animals, and he is so smart in so many ways. It blows my mind all the ways he thinks of things like this. I never would have thought to squat, not look the animal in the eyes so as to scare it or I don't even know what, but he did. He understood somehow. He just amazes me. I am so lucky to be his mom. I love my kids. All of them. They are all equally special.

Happy New Year!!!

Wow, can hardly believe it's 2013. Where has the time gone? Well 2012 was a rough year for me, but I don't want to dwell on it. It taught me a lot about myself, about who is important in my life, who will stick around when the going gets tough, who cares, and who cares less. It's was a hard but important lesson learned, and one I think we all must face at some point in our lives. Hopefully we are all so lucky to have loved ones, friends around us to pick us up, kick us in the rump, or to do the things needed to get us back in shape again. The important things in life, aren't things at all.

I normally don't want to get to personal on this page devoted to my photography, but from time to time it's inevitable. I wanted to share something we learned late last year. It had been a long and arduous process that all together took two years. I will save you the details, but just know it was a pain in the rump. Take my word for it. The outcome is that our youngest son was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome. Asperger's is on the Autism spectrum, but on the high functioning side. It is a very broad spectrum, all the children have varying symptoms and challenges to face. 

This happened in October, we were bascially told ok, your son has this now make and appointment with this specialist doctor I've done my part of this journey, have a nice day. Now, dont' get me wrong, she was perfectly lovely, and awesome at her job. It's just frustrating because we don't have an appointment with this doctor until March sometime. Speaking of which it's now getting closer, so I need to look up when it is exactly. 

So, while its been nice to finally know for sure what is going on with our son, and nothing has changed really. Of course we still love him, treat him just the same, he is still our same little guy, we just wish we had more guidance to help us when we are faced with the difficult days. We do have those. While our son is a delight, and I honestly wouldn't change him and his diagnosis for anything, he sometimes is and always has been a difficult child. Somedays I am in tears of frustration, then I feel like a failure of a mother, because what kind of mother feels this way and cries like this and doesn't know how to help her own child, or how to make her child listen to her, mind her, etc. It never fails though, on those difficult days that I sometimes don't know how I will get through them. When I am putting my son to bed, or later in the night as I walk out to the kitchen to get a drink in the middle of the night, my son will wake up, wrap his hands around my neck and say, "I'm sorry Mommy for earlier, I was just mad. I really do love you. Your the best. I love you mommy."  That is worth everything in the world to me, and I immediately forget everything from earlier. My big cheesy smile and I mosey on back to bed in peaceful bliss.